Yesterday, Micah, Cousin Luke, Daven and I went to Lubbock to check the placement of his brace and had an xray taken. To make a long story short, the early prognosis is good. While we looked at the xray Richard (brace maker guy) said his spine is looking really good. I have to keep in mind that he isn’t a doctor and the xray was taken with the brace on, so obviously it would look better than if it was off. However, it is nice to hear that something might be working.
When we were driving home, Cousin Luke was talking up a storm. All I could think was how wonderful those baby coo’s sounded. I guess I have never realized that I haven’t heard a true baby coo from Daven. He talks in his own voice, but it has never had that perfect baby coo that we have all heard.
I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else, but something in my heart wept. I wanted so badly for those precious coos to be coming from Daven. As I was watching Sex and the City the other night Carrie Bradshaw said something that made perfect sense to me…”Sometimes in life, there is nothing harder than to be happy for someone else.”
As happy as I was to get the good report from Richard, the overwhelming sadness was still so heavy. So I started contemplating and wondering why this week has been such a hard week for me. Then with the help of my therapist (she is worth every penny!) it hit me…it has been a year almost to the date, that we truly started noticing a delay in Daven. Middle of June 2005, Daven had is first evaluation with our Early Intervention Program, only to find out that he was 3 or 4 months behind the development schedule. Wow, what a year it has been.
I can remember sitting on my living room floor with the case manager and PT and hearing them say that Daven was just weak and lazy…”Oh, he will be out of this program by the time he turns 1” they said with a smile. Oh how I wish they were right, but instead, he will need PT, OT, and possibly Speech for the rest of his life. What a difference that is.
So I figure, I am allotted a few off days. (Or week, or month, or year!) I want to apologize to those that are so close to me and have noticed a change in my behavior lately. I am happy, but I do fight off the tears on a regular basis. So bear with me and with everyone’s help, I will get through these lonely days.
I can’t thank Micah and Cousin Luke enough for going with us yesterday. What a chore it is to take two babies! Whew, we were both wiped out by the end of the day. I LOVE YOU MICAH! You are an instant “pick me up” and your company is cherished.
On a happier note, we all went to Target while in Lubbock. (It isn’t a trip to Lubbock without going to Target and spending WAY too much money!) Daven did
so well while mommy and Aunt Micah shopped our hearts out. (Yes, we went down EVERY isle!) While I was pushing the cart, I looked down to love on Daven and saw this. The look in his eyes said it all…”Mom are we done yet?!” Thanks Bu-Bee for your patience with momma, what an angel you are!
LOVE LOVE LOVE
When we were driving home, Cousin Luke was talking up a storm. All I could think was how wonderful those baby coo’s sounded. I guess I have never realized that I haven’t heard a true baby coo from Daven. He talks in his own voice, but it has never had that perfect baby coo that we have all heard.
I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else, but something in my heart wept. I wanted so badly for those precious coos to be coming from Daven. As I was watching Sex and the City the other night Carrie Bradshaw said something that made perfect sense to me…”Sometimes in life, there is nothing harder than to be happy for someone else.”
As happy as I was to get the good report from Richard, the overwhelming sadness was still so heavy. So I started contemplating and wondering why this week has been such a hard week for me. Then with the help of my therapist (she is worth every penny!) it hit me…it has been a year almost to the date, that we truly started noticing a delay in Daven. Middle of June 2005, Daven had is first evaluation with our Early Intervention Program, only to find out that he was 3 or 4 months behind the development schedule. Wow, what a year it has been.
I can remember sitting on my living room floor with the case manager and PT and hearing them say that Daven was just weak and lazy…”Oh, he will be out of this program by the time he turns 1” they said with a smile. Oh how I wish they were right, but instead, he will need PT, OT, and possibly Speech for the rest of his life. What a difference that is.
So I figure, I am allotted a few off days. (Or week, or month, or year!) I want to apologize to those that are so close to me and have noticed a change in my behavior lately. I am happy, but I do fight off the tears on a regular basis. So bear with me and with everyone’s help, I will get through these lonely days.
I can’t thank Micah and Cousin Luke enough for going with us yesterday. What a chore it is to take two babies! Whew, we were both wiped out by the end of the day. I LOVE YOU MICAH! You are an instant “pick me up” and your company is cherished.
On a happier note, we all went to Target while in Lubbock. (It isn’t a trip to Lubbock without going to Target and spending WAY too much money!) Daven did
so well while mommy and Aunt Micah shopped our hearts out. (Yes, we went down EVERY isle!) While I was pushing the cart, I looked down to love on Daven and saw this. The look in his eyes said it all…”Mom are we done yet?!” Thanks Bu-Bee for your patience with momma, what an angel you are!LOVE LOVE LOVE
3 Responses to “Putting it all into Perspective”
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About me
- I'm Aspen
- From Clovis, New Mexico, United States
- Happily married to Logan for 5 years. We have a precious son Daven Tate who was diagnosed with Williams Syndrome (a genetic disorder)at 11 months old. What a joy it will be to watch him grow. Daven just turned TWO!
- My profile
Lucky for Logan Little D was not born to shop like Mommy. I do not know if Chris is going to have it that easy.
I understand and feel everything that you wrote. REMEMBER you are not alone!!! All the PT OT And Speech well help now but it won't be forever, you'll see!!
Love ya ;)
I wish I was there to be useful on some of your Lubbock trips...I want to give you hugs every time you feel rotten! I love you so much and pray that your good days will always outweigh the bad.
Here's a thought: You should come stay with me! I'll keep Daven and ship you off to my SuperTarget for hours on end! Talk about therapy...what would we do without that store!!!???
Love you tons!
that poor baby!! he looks so worn out like ..ugh are you done yet??? i know this because i too feel that way in target and it is only myself keeping me there but i am way to big to lay over in the basket .... and look so darn cute at the same time!!